Wedding Registries

Creating a wedding registry is so much fun. Nothing beats being let loose in a store to create a wishlist of all the items you will start your new life with. I remember dreaming about all the dinner parties I would host, knowing a juicer would revolutionize my life, and complimenting myself on how perfectly I had coordinated my sheet and duvet cover selections.

I was given all kinds of tips from various sources: register for at least three times the number of guests you have so they have a choice, don't be afraid to choose big ticket items, be sure to set up your registry early... I could go on for days.

Being the Type A girl I am, I followed the rules. I registered for a lot of things, I made sure I varied the price ranges, I began my registry over a year before my wedding. But even after following all the rules, we have some major holes in our house ware collection.

HOLD ON!! Before you start calling me a spoiled brat, I want to say that we were so grateful for everything we received. The outpouring of love and generosity that surrounded our wedding was immense. What I am saying is I wish I had strategized a little better when creating my wedding registry.

Here are some things I wish people had told me before placing a scan-gun in my oh-so-eager hands:

~ Complete your registry about 2 months before your first shower.
       
When people said "register early" I took them at their word. I had our registry wrapped up about 13 months before the actual wedding. The problem? Companies discontinue items. Over the coming months I found myself constantly updating the registry because many of the items became unavailable.


~ Don't register for things you would buy yourself.

I love my Britta Pitcher, but did I need to have someone else buy it for my? Not really. Paper towel holder? Should have purchased it myself.

Again, it's not that I am ungrateful, it's just I should not have included those items in the first place. 

~ Three times the number of guests is WAY too many.

I was very careful to make sure there was something for everyone's price range on the registry. However, quite a few people gave gift cards or cash instead. And something no one really mentions? Some people won't give you a gift. There is no reason to put that much stuff on your list.

~ Only register for things you REALLY want

If you find yourself thinking "I guess it would be nice to have..." then don't register for it. Chances are that you will end of with a lot of things that you "guessed would be nice" rather than the things you really want. Here is my list of "really want" items that still need some additions:

Royal Doulton is a timeless china brand.
Their pieces are so delicate, but have enough weight to make the easy to handle. 

I drooled over this Calphalon set for months.

Hotel Collection 600 thread count sheets. Love.

~ People will buy things that are not on your registry.

I have no idea why. But they do. The hours you spent designing the perfect list are lost on some people. 

I am so grateful to everyone who attended our wedding. It was such an amazing celebration. The gifts we received we just icing on an already perfect event. This post is not meant to offend in any way... I just thought it would be helpful to pass along my personal experience to the nearly-weds out there.

Surviving House Wifery

When we decided to move to Portland it was understood that Brian would work while I job hunted. I thought I would easily find a job within a month (Portland is a Mecca for nonprofits, right?). In the mean time I would unpack, write thank you notes, catch up on recipes I had been wanting to try, and generally do what I want. I committed myself to keeping a clean house and having dinner on the table when Brian arrived home from a long day of work. It all sounded very romantic, in a Leave it to Beaver kind of way.

And it was nice... for a while. You see, the problem was we had moved to a place where I knew no one. Had this arrangement taken effect in Santa Barbara, my days would be full of mimosas, adventures, and crafty time with the girls I love. Instead, I soon found myself out of boxes to unpack and thank you note to write. With no one to share them with, baked goods became my waistline's worst enemy. Our little, temporary condo provided no room for gardening. I was spending a lot of time with the dog. He is great and all, but not one for conversation. I wanted so badly to remain upbeat during this transition, not just for me, but for my husband. But I felt myself slowly taking steps down a dark path.

Malaise. Ennui. All of those deliciously French, extential words. I had 'em, and I needed to shake 'em. Here are the steps I took to help keep me sane while I looked for employment.

Step 1 - Make a schedule.
I reserve one day a week for homework; paying bills, making appointments, general home office tasks. Another day to deep clean the house. Another couple for job hunting and follow ups. I take the dog to the park at least 4 times a week. Laundry day. Now when I go to sleep at night I am able to think about what needs to be accomplished to following day. It is comforting and empowering to know what I am looking forward to.


Step 2 - Lay some ground rules.
Personally, I do not allow myself to watch TV during the day. It is easy to get sucked in to a show when there are no other "real" obligations needing my attention. Set your priorities and stick with them.
Step 3 - Contribute.
Have an impact on a person, an organization, an animal, something. Volunteer. it is surprisingly difficult to find an organization that will readily take on new volunteers. Even though many oreganizatons consistantly advertise for volunteers, they often don't need them. Be prepared for rejection when looking for volunteer work, but stick with it. Somewhere will be looking for your skills and help.

Step 4 - Find women in similar situations.
Luckily the company Brian works for hires people from all around the worlds. It was actually quite easy to find other women who had moved her for their husband's jobs, once I started looking. It was  difficult to get over my fear of putting myself out there socially, but once I did I was able to start connecting with some really neat ladies.  Try this website. It has been so helpful.

Have you ever found yourself in a similar situation? I'd love to hear how you have beat the "stay at home blues."